Super Mom's Cape Tears

What a weekend! Call it a come to Jesus moment or a tear in my cape. The more I listened to my replacement copy of Michael Mclean's The collection ~ especially "which Part is Mine?" The sadder I got. I finally got the message my children were sending me. Mom you're here but you're never here. So I spent Saturday Sunday and Monday fasting and praying. And most of all listening and sorting. I came to the conclusion I wear a lot of hats. I'm a Mom Wife Sister Daughter PTO President Daycare provider Primary Teacher friend aunt . I know a lot of women who can successfully wear all hats. I can not. I can not do them all to the degree I can to satisfy myself. So I had to decide what was most important. So I closed my business at what I thought was 3:30 but Ricky informed it was 3:32. I feel horrible for no notice. But sometimes one has to make hard choices. And yesterday I turned in my PTO Box in the morning. I spent the evening playing silly basketball, going for a walk, and scripture study with my 4 boys. And talking to family and friends. I wore a smile like I hadn't in awhile.
I got up this morning and spent it with Rick for a little under an hour. It was amazing he gave me no grief. What changed? Mom wasn't divided with others. We talked about what we both needed. He went to school with a different look. Dan and I will get 7:00am - 7:45am and Eddie Ray will have bedtime, for his 11 stories and Primary songs. It's a start. Big Dan and I will have to find our time. So I guess I am appreciative for others little irritating comments, they needed to get under my skin. I will reexamine in 2 weeks to see if any other hats need to be removed. As far as the person who said to remove the facade, it wasn't a facade. It was just trying to be the best I could at too many jobs. I am grateful for our wonderful Bishop who had the foresight to have Ward Scripture Study. Or perhaps we wouldn't be at this point. And to be willing to listen to an overwhelmed woman in the wee hours of the morning. So if I appear sad I am, and it will get better as I continue on my path, I just need to keep my eyes out for soul suckers. As far as quitting smoking, I returned it's just not time yet. But it is closer. I need to get through a portion first. So someone asked what can we pray for, that our family will survive financially as we put our family first. Dan is going back fulltime at Godfather and Cattle Congress so the boys and I can get back on track. So look at your children love them but ask yourself are you always loving? If not fix it. Now maybe Ricky's ovaries will never hurt again. We love you all.