Transformation

I can never explain to all of you what has happened since Saturday.  It has been incredible.  At times overwhelming.  I had loved ones by my side.  And for that I appreciate.  But I have finally found peace.  And I know should my son choose peace, I too can do what others have done for me. I can now do for him.  God it feels good.  Like God said "all things will be revealed"  It feels great.

The one thing DHS did tell us

If you have any unfinished business the injured child will draw it out.  You know what that's okay.  It needed to be.  I'm not sure I have ever been this relaxed and happy in my life.  I am me.  And you know what she is amazing. I hope when and if my children decide it is safe enough to let go of hurts.  I can stand by without judgement as it unfolds.  As many did for me.  Just checking to ensure it is ok.

Rick's drawing for us.

Okay it sideways. If you look closely you will find our home and all of our names. Hint mom is hidden in the word home. I am impressed and already have it hung on our wall of love.

7th try to make this posting

Realization of what motivates each one of us gives us the power to change the future.  It  is up to us to with God's help to make that change.  Now I understand why I was drawn to the quote "Our scars remind us the past was real and the future must be different,"  The child in us who went unprotected, will do what is necessary to protect itself.  And usually the way it does is through anger.  And the more each one of us have an understanding of this, the easier it will be to support each one of us as we travel on this journey.  Where are we headed?  To a more loving safe place.   

okay here is the old pics forgot to load

It's those precious Moments in life....

Okay this one popped out of place.  But true to form Ray Man's tongue is hanging in the mud again. 

They added a little water for their pocket rockets and just kept going from there.

By the end of the night it was a sight to behold!  Is that really my boys?

Dan being the child he is ~ hosed off outside.  Ray Man however snuck in the backdoor and took a different approach.  Don't rich women pay tons of money for these spa treatments?

Makes one wonder if Ray Man is hoping for bath crayons.

 So using this one for his grad. lol  I find it interesting the same 2 are always in the mud.

Some will see a large mess.  Not me I see fun ~ creativity.  For all the chaos that happens in our lives these  are the moments to treasure.  And man they did an awesome job cleaning up. It will be a sad day when they are to grown up for rolling in the mud.

So Dianne will these pics be calendar worthy this year?

Funny when this next picture was taken, I thought what a mess.  But then again I was headed to class.  After tonight I think that wasn't so bad.  But I'm pretty sure this set of clothes will go like the last, in the garbage.  I've pretty much have come to the conclusion a manicured lawn I will never have.  But that's okay, I'd rather look at my boys laughing then the perfect lawn.

Paybacks

Living with RAD.  Is learning to live with paybacks when they do not get their way.  Which one did it?  Who knows.  Last night I was taken to the ER for a severe asthma attack.  Asked if I needed treatments.  Nope have half a box.  You need to take treatments every 4 hours.  Home I realize my treatments are just empty bottles placed back in the box.  Call the DR they can't fill till tomorrow.  The nurse reminds me that I shouldn't wait till I'm out to call.  Yeah I'll remember that.  Never thought I'd be grateful my Dad is Asthmatic.  He is on his way to bring me some treatments to get me by.  So I'm back to how I was yesterday.  My question is do they realize what they are doing?  Or  is it just an instant retaliation with no thought to the outcome.