Super Mom's Cape Tears

What a weekend! Call it a come to Jesus moment or a tear in my cape. The more I listened to my replacement copy of Michael Mclean's The collection ~ especially "which Part is Mine?" The sadder I got. I finally got the message my children were sending me. Mom you're here but you're never here. So I spent Saturday Sunday and Monday fasting and praying. And most of all listening and sorting. I came to the conclusion I wear a lot of hats. I'm a Mom Wife Sister Daughter PTO President Daycare provider Primary Teacher friend aunt . I know a lot of women who can successfully wear all hats. I can not. I can not do them all to the degree I can to satisfy myself. So I had to decide what was most important. So I closed my business at what I thought was 3:30 but Ricky informed it was 3:32. I feel horrible for no notice. But sometimes one has to make hard choices. And yesterday I turned in my PTO Box in the morning. I spent the evening playing silly basketball, going for a walk, and scripture study with my 4 boys. And talking to family and friends. I wore a smile like I hadn't in awhile.
I got up this morning and spent it with Rick for a little under an hour. It was amazing he gave me no grief. What changed? Mom wasn't divided with others. We talked about what we both needed. He went to school with a different look. Dan and I will get 7:00am - 7:45am and Eddie Ray will have bedtime, for his 11 stories and Primary songs. It's a start. Big Dan and I will have to find our time. So I guess I am appreciative for others little irritating comments, they needed to get under my skin. I will reexamine in 2 weeks to see if any other hats need to be removed. As far as the person who said to remove the facade, it wasn't a facade. It was just trying to be the best I could at too many jobs. I am grateful for our wonderful Bishop who had the foresight to have Ward Scripture Study. Or perhaps we wouldn't be at this point. And to be willing to listen to an overwhelmed woman in the wee hours of the morning. So if I appear sad I am, and it will get better as I continue on my path, I just need to keep my eyes out for soul suckers. As far as quitting smoking, I returned it's just not time yet. But it is closer. I need to get through a portion first. So someone asked what can we pray for, that our family will survive financially as we put our family first. Dan is going back fulltime at Godfather and Cattle Congress so the boys and I can get back on track. So look at your children love them but ask yourself are you always loving? If not fix it. Now maybe Ricky's ovaries will never hurt again. We love you all.

General Conference

The boys pretended to listen to General Conference as they did in the time of King Benjamin out of Mosiah. The talks that really struck home for us all was the ones by M. Russell Ballard and The Prohet. Reminding us each of our own parts. It's been such a thought provoking week for us all. Okay maybe not Eddie Ray, he just loves life and all it has to offer. But the rest of us. We are entering family counseling to work out are various issues. We are putting the focus back on us. Although we do lots of fun activities we need time that is just us. Big Dan was so tickled Little Dan made a poster that says he loves Dad. Then he made him a book that says how much he loves him. Now Daddy doesn't have to be jealous of Mommy's things he has his own. I went in with the boys this morning to turn in all the PTO stuff. I am no longer the President I resigned. We will see how counseling goes to see what else needs to drop to be what we need to be. I can honestly say I am constantly amazed how much the boys are growing. For bedtime Eddie Ray just wanted to listen to I am A Child of God with Mom & Dad. It konked out little man and his bestfriend Daddy.

The Cuts & Dyes

We discussed how blonde might turn out for them. And I was right Ricky is the only one who is blonde. The others are red hues on top. The model man had 4 poses I think this is the one I'm suppose to use.

King Limhi's Grape Escape Drink

The boys loved it! It's made with 1 1/2 cups ice cream. 1/2 cup milk 1/2 cup Ginger Ale 6 oz grape juice. Blend well . Read with Mosiah chapters 21 & 22. Poor Dan got bored with waiting for his turn. Then we watched Black Beard from when mom was a kid.

FHE

Funtimes! Playing games for family home evening. The boys finally played with their Art Explosion Kit. Oh the beautiful picts they made.

Best Friends

Eddie Ray and his bestest friend in the whole world. Yeah I'm jealous!

Family Council

So we all weighed in on some heavy issues. The boys can't seem to decide if they like daycare in home. It's back and forth. Well we made progress last night Ricky finally stated why he did not want us to be foster/ adopt parents anymore. And why he pulls so many stunts. Ricky thinks he will be replaced. And they all agreed if I closed the daycare for a while they would be happy. So I told them I would pray about it and sleep on it. This morning I awoke with the strongest feeling I should give up the daycare. The sad thing it's the job I love the most. So I ponder awhile longer looked in the scriptures and reread the part of how things will work out if we are doing things for the kingdom of God and not for the love of money. Those 3 boys make me happier tan I have ever been. Stressed at times, yes definitely. But happier overall. So I got up this morning and wrote my closing note. I believe Ricky had the biggest smile I had seen in forever. So less funds are a concern. We will have to trim things back more. But I feel confident we are on the right track. So last night my heart broke, and this morning it filled with sunshine. But in August we will review where we are as to whether we will reopen again. But for now I look foward to ending the school year with the boys and heading into summer. I feel so blessed to have the gospel in my life. And to continue to move foward. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt the Family Home Evenings, Scripture Study,& Family council has moved us foward to this point. And if any of you out there are considering foster/adopt I highly reccomend it. Just hold onto your hats it can be bumpy ride. But definately worth it.